Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
