Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
