that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
