I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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