try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
