After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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