Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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