yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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