also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
