my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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