When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
