I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
