my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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