he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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