how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
