giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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