Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
