Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
