I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
