So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
