I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
