Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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