Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
