its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
