I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize