I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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