Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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