I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
