Fuck appropriateness.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize