I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
jump out the window naked night went bad
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
