Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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