I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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