Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
