how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
