jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
