would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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