How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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