I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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