she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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