Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
