I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
