Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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