I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
