Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
