I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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