Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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