oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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