I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
