even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
