When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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