i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
