THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
