I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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