And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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