Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize