i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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