oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
