I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
