bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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