Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
