As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
