How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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