Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
either way he was missing a nipple.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
