Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
