Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize