I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Randomize
