Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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