i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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