Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
