Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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