You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize