I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
